What Mindset Are You Battling in Your Dating Life?
No, a positive mindset won’t save you from ever experiencing a lack of chemistry on a date or dating someone who’s inconsiderate or even rude. But what a positive mindset will do is enable you to move on quickly when you do have these experiences, so you can meet someone who is right for you.
Unfortunately, many singles don’t realize that their complaining or offhanded comments about dating are actually holding them back. That’s why checking in with yourself and asking, “Do I have a positive or negative mindset about dating?” can help.
Less constraints mean more time to explore the world and the opportunities for love in it
If you’re not sure or think the comments you make in your mind or to others are harmless, read on. What follows are a few of the most common complaints singles make about the dating scene and why they can hurt your chances of finding your next relationship.
I hear this all the time and, ironically, about all ages. And to that, I say, ridiculous! Since I became a matchmaker more than 30 years ago, I’ve helped singles ranging from their thirties to their eighties find love. And guess what? Somebody wanted to date someone “their” age.
Since there’s enjoyment to be had at any age, so, too, is there love because people want to share the lives they love with someone special. Plus, love that comes later in life often affords more freedoms than it does when there are more family and career constraints.
Or, the other variant, everyone’s crazy. Really? Not everyone can be flaky or nuts. Not to mention, it raises the other, unavoidable possibility: Perhaps it’s not them who’s crazy, it’s me.
If you write off everyone from the get-go, of course there’s going to be no one out there to date. To be honest, everyone has a little bit of eccentricity to them at times.
How you talk to yourself about dating very much sets the stage for your dating experiences
Therefore, finding a match is very much about finding a person who’s got those quirks you can live with as opposed to the ones that are deal breakers. These vary for everyone. Remember, what’s flaky to one person could be endearing to another.
Really? Aren’t you a high-caliber, quality person to date? If you answered yes, what makes you think you’re alone in your search?
I’m not going to lie; there are some bad apples out there. It’s why you have to be a cautious dater and vet your dates or hire someone to help you do that. But there are also many, many find individuals looking for love and partnership, just like you.
But, again, if you discount the entire dating pool, of course you’re not going to find anyone of substance . Instead, put your best foot forward, beginning with a positive attitude because that’s what attracts other like-minded individuals.
Everyone’s busy. And the truth is we only make time for what’s important to us. So, if meeting someone special is important to you, then I suggest you lok at your schedule and find times where you can be more flexible.
Believe it or not, you can go on dates throughout the day. A morning walk before work, a lunch date, a drink or dinner after work, a weekend brunch or mid-afternoon hike. You name it; it’s possible. That is, if you’re willing to devote the time.
But you have to think positively. Which brings me to my next point, and that is to engage in more positive self-talk. So what is that?
Yep, you heard me right. Literally tell yourself: “I’m worth it.” You’re worth someone calling you and spending time with you. You’re worth someone taking you to lunch or dinner or teaching you about a pastime they enjoy and want to share with you. And most oof all, you’re worth someone wanting to love you and share their life with you.
If you have a great life that you’re proud of and savor, congratulations because you’re already on the road to finding your next relationship. Think about it; you have a life you love, but wouldn’t it be that much better if there was someone you loved in it who could share many (not all) of the aspects of your wonderful life https://kissbrides.com/pt-pt/cazaquistao-mulheres/ with you?
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up your independence or all of your private time. Not at all. What it does mean is that you can make an addition to your life that doesn’t subtract from it at the same time. To put it simply, it all comes down to mindset: are you positive or negative?
Speaking of positivity, people who are upbeat tend to find enjoyment even in the mundane. They take pleasure in everyday activities and see the beauty in them. And that includes dating, which, depending on how you look at it, could be an adventure, too.
Every date, you see, is an opportunity. An opportunity not only find love but also to have a pleasant morning, afternoon, or evening and nothing more. Those moments can be filled with good company, good food and wine, and good conversation, even if it leads nowhere. And there’s something always to be learned about others and yourself – if you’re open to it.
Stay positive, stay positive, stay positive. When you have a mindset that leaves you open to possibility, you actually can see it in front of you. When you’re negative, you’re closed off from the world and see only your own reality.
Every one of us has had to deal with difficult issues in our life, which may very well be responsible for us being closed off at times. And sometimes, it takes a new person to help us see what may be right in front of us. Having worked with thousands of couples, I know how to get singles to look at dating from a fresh vantage point, one where they – and you – can see the whole forest, not only the trees.
