How to Deal With a Serial Cheater
For the person being cheated on, this behavior could feed into past trauma and actually keep the partner engaged in a negative loop.
For the person cheating, doing it again after having done it in the past might reinforce negative self-beliefs. “For the cheater, it could be out of their control, with addiction or impulse issues negatively impacting their self-esteem,” says Ratush. In fact, he tells us that the situation might be so out of their control that “some serial cheaters, especially those prone to addiction, can be so emotionally possessed that they will put a loving relationship at risk just to fulfill their compulsive needs.”
How to Identify a Serial Cheater
Now that you know some characteristics and behaviors of a serial cheater, it should be easier to discern the warning signs. Here’s how to identify that someone has a history of cheating, or that in doing it now, it isn’t the first time.
Top signs of a serial cheater
- They have poor relationships with others. “One important place to look is their relationship with their parents, siblings, and friends,” says Ratush. That’s because “if they have long-term, healthy dynamic relationships with people in their lives, chances are they’ll have it with their partner.”
- They are resistant to addressing their mental health when you bring it up. “look for people who take care of their mental health,” suggests Ratush. “Cheaters, commonly, endure poor states of mental health,” he explains, noting that “identifying untreated mental health disorders and/or poor mental hygiene is critical to understanding the serial cheater.”
- They’ve cheated on you once already. Because of the studies showing that those who have cheated once are more likely to do it again, you might not want to accept an apology and move on with full trust.
Anyone can be a cheater, but some demographics are more prone to cheating than others. For instance, men are more statistically likely to cheat than women, and older people are more likely to cheat than younger ones.
If you’ve discovered that your partner is a serial cheater, you shouldn’t wait to take action. You’ll want to begin taking your next steps as soon as possible.
First, you need to prioritize your physical health. “When cheating is discovered, the first concern should be personal health: stop sexual intimacy immediately to avoid any health risks,” recommends Ratush. If your partner claims to have taken precautions when cheating, that doesn’t mean it’s safe to engage with them. You’ll want to both get tested right away.
Next, therapy is in order. ” Work on a plan to engage in psychiatric treatment involving both a biological work-up and talk therapy,” says Ratush. Unless the situation is dealt with, your partner is likely to cheat again. And you should also take part in therapy, both to process the trauma of your partner cheating and to make sure you don’t get caught up in their cycle of it.
Lastly, you need to pause in the present. “Explore tangible steps to improve the state of mental health before talking seriously about the future of the relationship,” suggests Ratush. If you have future plans, it’s best to put them on pause until you can both be sure your partner won’t cheat on you again.
How to Move Forward
Whether you stay with your partner or decide to break up, chances are you’ve been exhausted emotionally by the process of someone cheating on you. Prioritize your own self-care, knowing you can’t fix anyone else.
Seeking out therapy for yourself will be key to making sure you don’t move straight from one person who cheats to another who does popГјler Filipinli arkadaЕџlД±k uygulamalarД± too. “A person moving on after a relationship with a serial cheater should have their own psychiatric evaluation done-to make sure they have the right support to manage any heartbreak and also to understand whether they’re somehow attracting this type of person into their lives,” suggests Ratush. He says that this work should be done for the sake of your mental health and self-esteem.
